Dear Prime Minister

Random letters to Tony Blair from an un-hinged lunatic

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Mr Paul Wolfowitz
The World Bank
1818 H St
Washington DC

02 May 2007

Dear Mr Wolfowitz,

In these troubling times, I write to you to offer my support and prayers for your courageous stand against the forces which would have you fired.

As a petty thief myself, I know how the stigma of being caught in an unethical act can be difficult to shake. I share your pain and pray for your soul.

Many people would call you a fool or, even worse, a complete fucking idiot for indulging in blatant nepotism at the same time that you were delaying aid to some of the world poorest people because their governments were doing the same. Many people would think of you as a shallow, cowardly little man for continuing to inflict public relations damage to the organisation you lead in a vain attempt to salvage your devastated reputation. But not I – I don’t judge you for your weakness or your attempts to defend the indefensible.

Like President Bush, I admire the way that you are prepared to destroy the things you stand for in order to defend them - things like the World Bank, Truth, Honesty and Dignity. Nothing could be more true to the principles of Republican government than cheating the system, getting caught and going down in flames but taking the whole organisation with you. God bless you for your moral courage.

On behalf of Republicans everywhere, make sure that you hang in there and insist that you are fired without having to publicly accept any wrong doing, also make sure you hold out for that $400k bonus for doing a great job – you know you’ve earned it!

Although I can’t speak for all of the world’s poor & starving people, I’d like to think that they, like me, would like to say a big “Thank You” for your selfless service. In some small way, I’m sure that your example of honest leadership has inspired some the most despotic regimes around the world to turn a new page and govern themselves with dignity and respect for the rule of law.

Best Wishes

AJ Bladderwait

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Human Rights, Democracy and Governance group
Foreign and Commonwealth Office
King Charles Street

By e-mail to
30th March 2007

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to request a formal statement from the Foreign Office regarding HM Government’s position on the legality and human right implications of the US Military Tribunals currently interviewing and trying suspects in Guantanamo Bay. I have read your department’s standard response to letters regarding Guantanamo however; this document does not cover the latest status of the reactivated Military Tribunals and their ability and potential to convict and sentence prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.

Earlier this month a prisoner, Khalid Sheikh Muhammad was forced to attend a status review conducted by such a military tribunal during which he made allegations of abuse during his imprisonment and confessed to a string of terrorism offences. KSH, was not permitted a lawyer, was not permitted to hear all the evidence against him and was denied access to the witnesses (also detained at Guantanamo) he requested be present. No independent media observed the tribunal and the names of the Military officers participating in the review meeting have been redacted from the transcript, including the officer who certifies the transcript as correct and accurate! Evidence obtained during torture (duress in US military parlance) is permitted and accepted by the tribunal.

Even if we ignore the appalling precedents the creation of such tribunals represents, operating outside of all constitutional and military legal systems, the denial of basic legal rights at a hearing in which the evidence and confession KSM presented may be used in the future to convict and sentence him to death are travesties. There is no evidence that KSM had access to legal council prior to making his confession although there is compelling evidence that he was subjected to “Water-Boarding” and other torture techniques during his detention by the American government. During the course of his captivity, his two young children were detained in Pakistan and transferred to the custody of American agents – KSM was made aware of the fact that his children were in the custody of US agents during his interrogations and torture.

Further to KSM’s status review, the Australian David Hicks has had his case reviewed and subsequently been convicted on one count of providing material aid to the terrorism, after pleading guilty. Two of Hick’s lawyers were barred from the court, one of them because “he agreed to abide by all “existent” rules, but refused to agree to “all” rules for the tribunal without first knowing what those rules stated. According to the judge, this ran afoul of civilian counsel’s obligations to agree to military regulations governing representation – regulations which have not yet been issued.” Via HRW .

Hick’s could not have his own lawyer defend him because that lawyer insisted on seeing the laws and rules of the court beforehand - apart from Zimbabwe I cannot imagine another British based legal system which would tolerate such despicable disregard for the fundamental principles of justice. It now appears that David Hicks has entered into a plea deal where the US officials offered to reduce his sentence on condition that he drops his claims of torture and abuse whilst detained. The US government is buying his silence after convicting him in a kangaroo court. His sentence stipulates that he may not talk to the media for a year, not to sell his story and not to sue the US government. These types of conditions are not legitimate criminal or military punishments, but naked political conditions imposed through a blatant abuse of power. If this occurred in Zimbabwe, my government would be rightly and publicly outraged. Yet when one of our closest allies repeatedly disgraces itself in this manner, we are silent.

Where is the moral outrage from my government? Since we last expressed our mild displeasure at the US Administration, they have proceeded to commit further blatant and despicable human rights abuses, the latest being the military tribunals at Guantanamo. More outrages will inevitably follow. Behind the scenes, scores of innocent men have been released without charge, compensation or apology. Yet all official US Administration and Military references to detainees at Guantanamo infer that all prisoners are “terrorists”, when clearly they are not. In such a politically motivated and managed environment it is impossible for these men to obtain fair trials.

The physical and legal abuses that have occurred at Guantanamo Bay will stain the reputation of the USA as a defender of Human Rights for the next 50 years. Through our ongoing cooperation with the US and our muted public responses in the face on continued abuse, years after we first meekly denounced the USA’s behavior as unacceptable, we undermine our own credibility.

Yours sincerely

AJ Bladderwait

PS I believe that it is important that the FCO carries both sides of the argument in its web-site statement on Guantanamo. However, your organization looks quite ridiculous when giving such prominence to the flat denials by Condoleezza Rice regarding the US’s well documented crimes of torture and rendition. I’d suggest that you either remove her comments or document the numerous credible counter claims and pending European prosecutions – otherwise your own credibility is called into question.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

To all non Loyal Republicans,

You do not know me. But I am on the lookout for you. You are my enemy. And I am yours

I am Jane Doe, Republican mouthpiece

There is a 29% chance that I am traveling on your plane or riding on your train or at your bus stop or am on your street or am in your subway car or possibly on your lift (but that’s only statistically probable if there are 4 or more people in the lift, obviously).

It is possible that I am your neighbor (unless you live in the Ghetto) or that I am your customer or your classmate or maybe I am your boss.

I am Jane Doe, Republican mouthpiece

I will never forget that the brutal murders of Americans on September the 11th bestow on me, a solemn duty to hate and distrust everything Islamic, and because we are at war, Non Republican.

I will promote the persecution and harassment of all peoples of Arabic appearance and especially those Muslims who dare to offer prayers in public as a reasonable and effective solution to national security.

I will wet my pants in fear and increase my elimantionist rhetoric whenever the Department of Homeland security raises it threat level from “Elevated” to “High”.

I am Jane Doe, Republican mouthpiece

I will interpret Law Enforcement security advice as official approval to intimidate those who don’t look like me.

I will cite individual examples of extremism and violent rhetoric by my ideological opponents as conclusive proof that entire countries and political movements are abhorrent and must be destroyed. I will consistently ignore or make light of such rhetoric from extremists who share my agenda.

I will petition against your hate-mongering leaders. But not mine.

I will raise my voice against your subjugation of women and religious minorities, although I tacitly approve of your authority over women’s wombs, have no problem with your persecution of homosexuals and wish my church could instill your religious discipline in its congregation.

I will challenge your attempts to indoctrinate my children in our schools by promoting alternative curriculums based on sound scientific-religious teachings, like creationism.

I will combat your violent propaganda on the Internet with my violent propaganda on the Internet.

I am Jane Doe, Republican mouthpiece

I will call soldiers who fought for their country traitors if they disagree with my point of view. I will fearlessly insist that America’s military defeats are due to treachery and sedition by the media & hippies rather than outdated, immoral and ineffective political and military strategies.

I will uncritically accept statements issued by my Government because I believe that the image of my Government is more important than substance of its actions or integrity.

I will never allow a rational argument to assuage my deep seated fears. I cannot be diverted by facts or evidence, by experts or witnesses - I am immune to logical persuasion. I will ridicule all those who are not as scared as I am.

I will promote as credible facts and opinions, the work of false prophets, charlatans and ridiculous fools when they corroborate my ideals.

I will subtly blame immigrants and foreigners for all that I believe to be wrong in my country.

I will defend myself from the influence of foreign and repressive regimes by encouraging my Government to reduce the freedoms and liberty of all Americans. My fear of my enemies is so great that I am willing to grant my government the power to monitor, kidnap and torture me – all in the name of Freedom and Democracy.

I will remain immune from irony and steadfastly refuse to empathize with any Non Republicans.
I will not be censored in the name of tolerance but I will seek to denigrate you and anyone who opposes my views by spreading lies, innuendo and partisan observations while complaining about a lack of civility.

I will pretend that the war I supported has in some way protected my family. I will use my fear for my family’s security as justification for the destruction of the lives of other human beings. I will continue to shoot first and ask questions later, no matter how many times I get it wrong.

I support racial profiling regardless of the consequences for innocent Americans or foreigners, and reflect fondly of the days when all potential criminals and saboteurs were preemptively interned.

I will not submit to your will and I will not be intimidated. Unless you are my President or the leaders or financiers of the Republican party. Then I will do whatever you want me to, no matter how depraved or revolting, without question or complaint. I shall allow you, as my leader, to intimidate and scare me with tales of potential horrors beyond my wildest dreams and commit to unquestioningly believe and repeat as warnings to others, these tales of future terrors.

I am Jane Doe, Republican mouthpiece

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Attn : The Clerk of the Foreign Affairs Committee.

Dear Sir or Madam,

In response to the publication of the report “Visit to Guantanamo Bay” on the 21st January 2007 by the Foreign Affairs Committee, I would be grateful if you could circulate my comments below to all member MPs of the FA committee.

To all members of the Foreign Affairs Committee:

Visit to Guantanamo Bay 21st Jan 2007.

This report is a travesty. It is a disgrace to the House of Commons and to the British public, in whose name is was ostensibly written. This shameful publication espouses moral ambiguity and half-baked reasoning in almost every paragraph. About the only section in which the authors were able to write with any convincing authority was in their initial paragraphs about the history of the base.

If I had wanted to read a selection of White House and Number 10 press releases, I could have simply looked them up on the internet rather than having to wade through your publication.

Your delegation had an opportunity to visit one of the most polarising and monumental icons of tyranny of my generation. Instead of asking serious questions or attempting to meaningfully audit our government’s foreign policy, you dutifully reported the calorific value of daily rations served to inmates and the frequency with which they received X-rays.

Your report alluded to and often referred to external sources which document the countless allegations of abuse, torture, suicides and force feeding, the brutal policies of isolation, denial of habeas corpus and the newly created kangaroo courts to try and potentially execute these men. Yet the gravity of these affronts to basic, fundamental and universal human rights never quite seemed to carry any weight in the conclusions of your report, let alone merit an urgent requirement for action on behalf of our government.

The actions of my government in leading this country into an unprovoked and catastrophic war in the face of massive public opposition were deplorable. The behaviour of Parliament in standing mute and subservient for five long years as repeated, unspeakable atrocities to the ideals of Democracy and human rights were committed in our name is even more despicable.

Unless this committee has any genuine intention of speaking out to represent the views of the public or those of the oppressed, then the next time you consider a similar visit, please save tax-payer’s money and just let Tony Blair’s minions at the Foreign Office write the report.

Yours faithfully,

AJ Bladderwait

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Ms Sandy Hodgkinson
US State Department
Deputy Director for War Crimes

Dear Ms Hodgkinson,

I am writing to you to thank you for your comments on the fate of the
released Guantanamo prisoners as reported by the BBC. Your statement that “The US position is clear – we will not send individuals to places where we believe it is more than likely they will be tortured” really tickled me. Honestly, I can say that it was one of the funniest things I had ever read. In fact “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA” that is brilliant! The US kidnapped these inmates from around the world, in defiance of the public views of every single civilised government in the world, let alone the overwhelming world public opinion opposing extraordinary rendition and the physical and legal treatment of prisoners by the US at Guantanamo Bay. After kidnapping these men & children, denying them any form of modern legal protection, physically and mentally tormenting & torturing them before finally declaring them innocent of your own government’s unfounded charges – you have the gall to whine that the rest of the world is behaving hypocritically by not offering to these men political asylum or pretending that you care that they might be tortured when returned home after you have accused them of terrorism?

For the avoidance of doubt, if your government has any concerns that these innocent men are at risk of ill treatment on return to their own countries then it is TOTALLY the responsibility of the US government to ensure their safety and well being. After all, you kidnapped them. If this involves granting those innocent men and children asylum in the USA then that is what you are morally obliged to do. You are only fooling yourselves with you descriptions of these men as “no longer enemy combatants” when you failed to offer any evidence to anyone that these men were in fact anything other than ordinary. Why has it become Albania’s problem that your intelligence services are consistently incompetent and routinely kidnap innocent people? Could it be because it would be embarrassing to the US government to admit that the vast majority of inmates at Guantanamo, those to whom the former Defence Secretary referred to as “the worst of the worst”, are actually innocent of any and all crimes that the US accuses them of? The world thinks so.

Anyway – please make sure that you are roster’d for future public statements – you are quality entertainment value.

Best Wishes

AJ Bladderwait.

Mr Robert Wardle
Director, Serious Fraud office

Dear Mr Wardle,

I am writing to you in the hope that you could provide me with some professional advice and general guidance with regards to UK law. I recognise that this is an unusual request but I assure that I can definitely make it worth your while.

I am currently considering participation in number of off-shore business ventures, which might be considered by some, to be less than ethical. The business opportunities in question are all import/export related and range from supplying contraband goods and arms to the supply of child slaves to the global markets. Clearly I have no intention of breaking UK law, but in light of BAE’s narrow escape from your Al-Yamamah corruption investigations, I’d like to ensure that I am better prepared, legally, should I ever be personally implicated in a similar scenario. Be prepared – that’s what my Granddad always told me!

Can you give me any indication whatsoever as to how much cash I would have to donate to the Labour Party or just how big a contract I’d have to generate for the National Balance of payments to get one of your investigations shut down should someone squeal to the law?

I appreciate that there are a number of variables and that you would need to consider “the wider public interest”. However, I am struggling to understand what qualifies as public interest given that, in the BAE case, you
have stated that “No weight has been given to commercial interests or to the national economic interest.” yet MI6 have said that they do not concur with the government suggestion that Saudi Arabia would stop providing intelligence information should your enquiry continue, which means that national security was never threatened.

If BAE can bribe Saudi government officials but get away with it, does this mean that I should only bribe governments who supply intelligence related to the war on terror, or does it mean that I should focus my dollars on those governments who are prepared to buy massive quantities of UK arms? I am finding it all so confusing but your professional opinion would assist me greatly in making these pressing investment decisions.

Of course, should be able to aid me, you would not find me ungrateful and there would be a healthy percentage for you should any of these proposed ventures prove successful. Similarly, there is always a place for learned legal council like yourself in the commercial sector where knowledge of the inner workings of government and the SFO is always a valuable commodity!

I look forward to doing business with you.

Yours sincerely

AJ Bladderwait

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Dear Prime Minister Blair,

Earlier this year the Attorney General, Lord Goldsmith, called the existence of the US prison at Guantanamo Bay “
unacceptable” and a “symbol of injustice” leading most observers to conclude that he had serious concerns about the legality of the camp. Previously, in March of this year you also called for the closure of the camp but avoided commenting on the allegations of torture apart from casting dispersions on such allegations by saying that the “Americans dispute many of these claims…”.

What is not in dispute by those who are even marginally sceptical of US claims is that as of this month, as many of 75% of the prisoners at Guantanamo have
never seen a lawyer and that the vast majority of prisoners held have never been involved in terrorism or posed a threat to anyone. Further, the horrendous forms of prolonged mental torture used routinely in US prisons are publicly acknowledged and obvious. I have written to you before regarding the disgraceful infringements of other basic human rights and the fundamental legal protections these inmates are being denied and shall not list these in detail again here.

That you are unable to overtly criticise such appalling affronts to the most basic systems of justice is a damning indictment of your failing judgement and lack of moral backbone. That you have tried privately to influence the US government to close the prison, I do not doubt. That you have failed miserably and are content to accept such failure is evident. When this is viewed alongside your eagerness to engage in a pre-emptive war based on false causes, your atrocious silence as Lebanese civilians were mercilessly bombarded by Israeli forces and your inability to voice any form of meaningful dissent to the increasingly incoherent and ludicrous schemes of George Bush, it is clear that you have lost you way, morally.

You are a Chamberlain type figure, unwaveringly pursuing an increasingly desperate policy of appeasement towards the Bush Administration and hoping anxiously that through some last minute miracle the damage they have done to the ideals of Democracy, Freedom and Justice will be erased from the world’s collective memory. As should be apparent to you by now, President Bush is not a man of honour and further affronts to the Western standards of Democracy and Justice by the collection of sociopaths who currently run the White House are inevitable.

Your policy of appeasement towards the US has lead to immeasurable damage being done to the people of Iraq, to the ideals of Freedom and to the reputation of the UK government as an active defender of International Law and Human Rights.

I therefore respectfully ask that you resign as Prime Minister immediately.

Yours sincerely

AJ Bladderwait.

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Dear Foreign Secretary Beckett,

I write to you requesting clarification on the British government’s position on the recent trial and execution of Saddam Hussein.
Your recent comments applauding the fact that Saddam was tried by an “Iraqi court” and that he has now been “held to account” are interesting observations when we consider that the terms of the tribunal set up to try Saddam required approval by the US Defence and State departments, that the trial, its judges and lawyers were massively funded by the US and UK governments and that the trial took a total of six different judges to come to a close. Even if we ignore the problem that any Iraqi judge who lived under the 24 year reign of Saddam Hussein could not seriously be considered impartial and we also ignore the background of violence which claimed the lives of seven people involved with the trial, including three of Saddam’s defence lawyers we are left some fairly blatant political interference. Are we to believe that the announcement of Saddam’s guilt on the 5th Nov, shortly before the US congressional and senate elections was an amazing coincidence? Do you believe that a legal system which allows trial judges to be selected and removed directly by politicians is a serious form of justice?

It is quite apparent to me that this trial was a complete sham, that whatever the Iraqi government’s intentions and capabilities there was no way that they or their US sponsors could be impartial in this case. It should very clearly have been tried in the Hague, but then that would have involved some form of international justice system, something the US administration is allergic to.

However, I do congratulate you for your fervour in supporting justice in principle in the Middle East. Saddam Hussein’s reign lead to the brutal deaths of many innocent people, statistically much like the reign of GW Bush and Tony Blair has. I assume that you will pursue, with equal vigour, justice for the innocent civilians killed in the US missile attack on
Damadola village, in Pakistan in January 06 for example. Surely bringing the cold blooded murders of women and children to trial is what international justice is all about? Will you be calling for an investigation and trial of those who ordered the killings in Damadola?

Yours sincerely

AJ Bladderwait

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

Dear Prime Minister Blair,

I am sure that daily you receive many hundreds of letters which berate you for your pivotal role in the unmitigated human catastrophe which continues to unfold in Iraq. Rather than simply add another letter to this large pile, I thought that I would offer you a potential solution which may help to extract you and our troops, but most importantly the Iraqi civilians from this epic disaster.

As you may be aware, you are a popular personality amongst the American public, indeed you are considerably more popular than the current president. Your unwavering public support for GW Bush has added massive amounts of credibility to his policies. Your continued endorsements and frequent face to face meetings have propped up a deeply unpopular leader at critical points in his term. Your public and utterly consistent support for the US Administration’s foreign policy in the Middle East has added credibility to a thoroughly discredited group of policy makers who routinely produce laughably primitive and child like strategies with which to engage the world around them.

In short Sir, your continued support of this US administration is highly valuable to them and may even be critical to them exerting any form of policy leverage over the Republican party’s remaining Senators and Congressmen and effectively governing the remainder of the president’s term. In return, over the last 5 years President Bush has been less than effective at meeting your agenda requirements, things like a balanced approach to the Palestinian conflict, a world trade deal or the closure of Guantanamo bay prison. In point of fact the US government have politely done nothing whatsoever to accommodate your point of view or policies. This is why people call you a poodle. Your protestations that the US is the most powerful country in the world and a force for good, ignores the fact that the current government also represents an awful lot of what is evil in the world.

But I digress, the object of this letter is to encourage you to order the withdrawal of all UK military personnel from Iraq as a matter or urgency. The military situation in Iraq is futile, the Pandora’s box of ethnic hatred was opened the minute the Iraqi government was overthrown and the limitation of the US and UK’s military might is obvious to everyone but the American Neo-conservatives. Regardless of whether we wish it to be so or not, the fact is that Coalition has been comprehensively defeated in its war against the insurgent groups in Iraq and it now justifiably represents a focal point for a population which is suffering under incredible injustice and violence. The US military forces have demonstrated incredible incompetence in counter insurgency warfare by showing an almost total disregard for the lives of ordinary Iraqis when engaging “suspected terrorists”. Sending additional troops as per the President’s latest plan will not change the fact that the US forces do not have the confidence of the population and are unable to bring about any form of genuine and long lasting stability or political resolution. The fantastically naïve notion that such an ethnically suppressed and brutalised population could form trusted and impartial policing and judicial systems so that “we can stand down as the Iraqis stand up” in a matter of a few years is a delusion. Collectively, we have deeply scarred and damaged Iraq and our continued presence is not making things better.

It should be apparent to you (as it is to the majority of the country) that President Bush will only order the withdrawal of US troops only when it is politically expedient for him to do so. His administration has no other consideration and as such the killing of coalition troops will, under your current policy, only end when GW Bush’s ego tells him the time is right. Therefore it is necessary to either a) show some leadership and unilaterally and immediately withdraw our troops, or b) make it politically expedient for Bush to order a withdrawal, ie by telling him that you are going to withdraw UK forces with or without his blessing. Sitting around waiting for the geniuses in the White House to come up with a strategy with more prospects than “Stay the Course” is going to be a long wait. Claiming that we are currently doing more good than harm is irrelevant when there is no ultimate exit strategy which does not involve further more sectarian violence and political revolution.

I urge you to bring our troops home now and maybe your actions will force the hand of an insulated and stubborn lame duck president whose primary concern is his own image and thus you just might bring about the beginning of the end of the horrendous tragedy in Iraq.

Yours sincerely

AJ Bladderwait

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