Why the IDF should not be allowed to play with sharp objects

As a salute to the earth shattering news that the definative IDF investigation has found that the deaths of four UN peace keepers, killed by Israeli bombs was, incredibly and almost unbelievably, the result of a “Tragic Error” ™, I have compiled a small list of reasons why the IDF should not be allowed to use high explosives or play with sharp implements in the future:-

26th August 2006 - Attack on clearly marked Reuters car in Gaza. IDF “Regrets”.

30 July 06 – 2nd Qana massacre 41 civilians killed in Israeli air strike on a 3 story building. IDF – “Hezbollah did it, Residents of Qana would not leave, Tragic Incident”.

25 July 06 – Israeli Artillery and Air strikes on a UN observation post in Lebanon kill 4 UN soldiers. Kofi Annan expressed outrage at the “apparently deliberate targeting by Israeli forces”. IDF – “Deep Regret”.

Jun 06 – Israeli artillery kills 8 civilians including 3 children on a beach in Gaza. HRW confirm Israeli shell is most likely cause. IDF Denies involvement

Mar 06 – Israeli soldier killed by friendly fire. IDF “unfortunate accident”

Mar 04 – IDF shoots dead unarmed 6 year old Palestinian boy.

July 03 - Israeli soldier shoots dead an (unarmed) 5 year old Palestinian – IDF “operational mistake”

May 03 – IDF shoot dead unarmed International cameraman, IDF “investigation ongoing.”

Apr 03 – IDF shoot and paralyse an unarmed British photographer and peace activist. One Israeli soldier convicted of man-slaughter.

Apr 03 – IDF shoot and injure an unarmed American peace activist in Jenin.

March 03 – unarmed peace activist crushed to death by IDF bulldozer – IDF “accident – case closed”.

March 03 – 2 Israeli security guards shot dead by IDF – IDF “expresses regret”

March 03 – IDF shoot dead unarmed 10 year old Palestinian girl in Bethlehem – IDF “tragic accident”

Nov 02 – 13th unarmed UN aid worker is shot dead in the UN Jenin compound. – IDF “regret

Sep 02 – Israel investigates the killing of ten Palestinians, including a number of children.

Sep 02 - IDF shoots dead unarmed 13 year old Palestinian boy - IDF “investigating”

June 2002 - Israelis kill 3 unarmed Palestinians with tank fire in Jenin – IDF “Unit erred in action”.

9th June 01 – IDF kills 3 unarmed Palestinian women with tank shells in Gaza – IDF – “possible we made a mistake”.

Aug 00 - 13 year old unarmed Palestinian boy killed by old munitions on old IDF range – IDF “Not us”.

July 2000 – IDF kill Palestinian women, injure her 7 month old baby, 6 year old child and her husband. IDF “Terrible mistake, offer apologies”

April 1996 – 1st Qana massacre 106 civilians sheltering in a UN compound are killed by Israeli artillery fire. – IDF “tragic accident”

June 67 – Israeli aircraft attack USS Liberty in International waters, killing 34 US Servicemen.

16th September 2006 Australia Tour

Dear Prime Minister,

I applaud your most recent speech to the Australian Parliament in which you deftly rebuke those European and World leaders who disagree with George Bush’s policies by calling them “Mad”. Describing this group of people as “Anti-American” or essentially racists, is a clever way of
avoiding the fact that their low opinions of George Bush’s competence as a leader are shared by the vast majority of the world’s population and the majority of Americans.

Truly, President Bush has had no more loyal a supporter than you. From the early days of “cooking up intelligence” and excuses to invade Iraq, to publicly criticising new organisations such as the BBC for pointing out US government deficiencies or ensuring the rapid transit of kidnap victims or arms for tyrannical regimes, if the White House wants it done, you are the man. In return, when you wanted an international focus on the Palestinian problem or Global Warming George was there for you. When you wanted an end to WTO rules which harm the developing world, George did his best for you. You asked privately for the closure of Guantanamo Bay prison camp for terrorist suspects and the US government tried really, really hard to make it happen.

Normally your speech-writers coordinate seamlessly to ensure that White House message is conveyed effectively and timely from the “Little White House” in Downing street. But on reading the rest of your Speech from Canberra, I think I have discovered a flaw. The section of your speech, encouraging more engagement with the US;
"Our task is to ensure that with them we do not limit the agenda to security. If our security lies in our values, and our values are about justice and fairness as well as freedom from fear, then the agenda must be more than security and the alliance include more than America."
reads rather ironically when you consider the current rebellion in the US Senate over GW Bush’s proposed legislation to deprive terror suspects of access to certain evidence used against them in court, to allow the use of coerced testimony in court and to redefine the Geneva Conventions to allow the use of torture in interrogations. Whilst this piece of legislation is going through the Senate, I understand that the White House is trying hard to avoid provoking any discussion involving the use of the words “Justice”, “Values” or the phrases “Justice and Fairness” or “Freedom from Fear”. I recommend you get your speech writers onto this before you cause any further damage.

Yours faithfully,

AJ Bladderwait