Letter to Cameron re: Lebanon

Updated below with a response from Tory HQ.
Dear David Cameron,

I am writing to you to express my support for your courageous stance in supporting the Prime Minister as he steadfastly pursues his quest for a holy war in the holy lands. Many of my friends have been asking where are the Tories in opposing the government and challenging them to remain true to core British ideals? I though that I would check your website, and upon reading your statements on the unfolding bloodbath in Lebanon, I was pleasantly surprised to see that, like the Prime Minister are towing the official US policy line, and that you have refused to condemn the Israeli killings of Lebanese civilians. By stating that “Lebanese and Israeli civilians are suffering”, a statement that is undoubtedly true, you cleverly imply that both sides are suffering equally (which is not true) and that the wide-scale bombing of civilian targets by a nation state is morally equivalent to a small group of terrorists firing rockets at Israeli cities. Where you copied into the same memo from Karen Hughes at the USA’s Public relations department?

Like President Bush, I believe that the crisis in the Middle East is a positive development as the world moves inexorably towards Armageddon and the beginning of the Tribulation. At this ordained time I and many other true believers will be sucked from the face of the earth to sit with God, whilst the non-believers are left to suffer the consequences of their heresy as the world descends into chaos of famines and plagues. As I warned the Prime Minster, if you and your family have not already made preparations for the Rapture, I urge to do so urgently – the appointed time is nearly upon us. With your ongoing help we can bring forward this day of doom, and a key part of this plan is for Western governments to avoid any action which may reduce the bloodshed in the Middle East. By refusing to condemn Israel for the killing of almost 300 civilians in Lebanon, you are helping us to maintain our schedule for the Day of Reckoning. Driven by a strong domestic block of voters, US foreign policy has been steadily setting the scene in order that the foretold destruction in the lands around Israel may commence.

It is very important that the conservative opposition support the government and regurgitate the Official US line that the entire conflict is due to Hezbollah and that Israel has every right to kill hundreds of women and children when it calls its actions “self-defence”. By avoiding any mention of the thousands of men, women and children detained with out charge or trial by Israel, by ignoring the destruction of all forms of civilian infrastructure and government in Gaza and now in Lebanon and by remaining mute on the innumerable human rights abuses committed by the state of Israel against millions of Palestinian civilians, we can safely communicate the message that the fate of three soldiers is the key to the lives of millions of impoverished people. Our public response to this crisis will clearly define our approach to human rights and international law as the world watches. Your assistance to the Prime Minister in supporting these injustices is invaluable and will go along way, in my humble opinion, to ensuring that that Rapture occurs at the appointed time, just as God and President Bush intended.

Keep up the good work!

AJ Bladderwait.

The Tories respond:-

Dear Arthur,

Thank you for your email to David Cameron regarding the events unfoldingin the Middle East. The Conservative Party considers the Middle East to be a vital region.It is central to many of the crucial foreign policy challenges we facetoday. We believe it is important to maintain a balanced approach tothe issue which does not give precedence to either of the parties to theconflict.

The escalation of the current crisis to include Lebanon, and thecontinued deterioration of the situation in the Gaza Strip, demonstratethat the conflict has entered into a new and gravely dangerous phase.There is an urgent need for all sides to show restraint and to step backfrom the current crisis. The overriding concern at this time must be thewelfare of innocent civilians caught in the fighting. We have called onboth sides to exercise restraint and to take steps to calm thesituation.

David Cameron has stressed the need for an intense, co-ordinated, andpowerful international effort to end the Lebanon crisis, and bring alasting peace to the Middle East. He welcomed the action being taken toevacuate foreign nationals from Beirut, but emphasised that only byaddressing the long term causes of the conflict can lasting peace beachieved.

David Cameron urged the Prime Minister to spell out the part he intendedto play in a Middle East peace push, asked which nations had signalled awillingness to contribute to the proposed UN security force, andstressed the need to secure implementation of UN Resolution 1559 -requiring the disbandment of the militias and the restoration of fullcontrol to the Lebanese government.

Beyond this immediate crisis it is imperative that we find a route tothe resumption of dialogue between all sides. In particular, it iscrucial that the resumption of negotiations between Israel and thePalestinians on the basis of a two-state solution takes place as soon aspossible.Thank you once again for taking the time and trouble to write.

Yours sincerely,

Alice Sheffield

David Cameron's Office

Updated Again with a reply to the response - behold:

Dear Alice,

Many thanks for your kind reply, I am very grateful that you took the time to respond to my e-mail of the 20th July. You certainly are very efficient in responding to comments from the proletariat when compared to a certain Mr. Blair, who can be rather tardy in these matters.

I wholeheartedly agree that it is important to maintain a balanced approach and not to favour any one side of the conflict when seeking to maintain the tempo of the conflict. After all, should we suggest that one of the most modern and formidable military forces in the world is not on an equal footing to 500 men called Abdul Abdullah (Arabic for “Magnus Magnusson”) who haven’t seen a flushing toilet since birth, we would be seen to be taking sides. Likewise, observing that the most technologically advanced air force, outside of the USA, has blown to smithereens more children under that age of 10 in the last week, than it has certified terrorists, it would be a poor indictment of the claim that the IDF is acting in self defence. Better that we call it quits don’t you think?

On the basis that the IDF is acting in self defence and that its killing of small children is not to be mentioned in polite conversation, does Mr Cameron believe that we are being “soft” on the Iranian terrorists who are attacking our troops in Iraq? Does Mr. Cameron believe that if we are serious about the threat these terrorist chaps pose to democracy and freedom, that “whilst acting in Self Defence”, we should follow the Israeli model and destroy the infrastructure in Southern Iraq and in Iran? I mean if it is reasonable for the IDF to destroy bridges, power plants, water mains, roads, airports and ports, are the British troops in Iraq really trying hard enough? Perhaps David could put this to the PM during PM’s question time?

Many Thanks

Arthur J. Bladderwait.

The Beautiful and gracious Alice responds to my response:-

Dear Arthur,

Thank you for your response - which has been noted.

Yours sincerely,

Alice Sheffield
David Cameron's Office House of Commons London SW1A 0AA