Letter to US Ambassador Tuttle. Re: Stuff

Dear Ambassador Tuttle,

As a result of a pub quiz the other week, I would be most grateful if you could assist me in answering a couple of contentious questions on American history and policy which I have been unable to resolutely resolve via the Ready Reference section of your web-site.

1. Is it true that President G.W. Bush has taken more official vacation time than all the other US presidents put together?

2. Can you confirm or deny that Prime Minister Blair is one of the few European leaders to have received a personal back rub from President G.W. Bush?

3. Is it true that the majority of Americans believe that the Dinosaurs roamed the Earth tens of thousands of years ago?

4. Is it possible to be arrested in America for calling President Bush rude names or wearing a T Shirt which mocks Jesus Christ?

Bonus point – Can you be executed for these crimes?

5. If Spiderman and Superman were locked in a small room for years on end and fed only bread and water, when a small piece of cheese is thrown into the room, who is most likely to prevail and consume that piece of cheese?

6. Is President Bush allowed to send anyone he chooses to Guantanamo Bay, or can the Supreme Court or the other elected parts of the government overrule him?

7. Does the pain involved in cutting one’s small finger off (at the first not the second knuckle) reach the level of pain equivalent to, but not equal to that experienced during organ failure?

8. Is it true that over 50% of the current elected Republican Congressmen and Senators are now in jail on charges of Corruption or accepting bribes?

9. Did Al Gore invent the Internet?

10. Is it true that President Bush deserted from the Air National Guard during the Vietnam War but this was allowed because his Dad was the Guvnor?


Thanks for your time and all the best for the War on Terror – we Brits are all proud of the work you chaps are doing in our name. GO USA!

Yours sincerely

AJ Bladderwait.