US State Department
Chief Legal Advisor

Dear John Bellinger,

In response to your recent comments to the BBC over the extradition of the Nat West three, I believe that I may be able to offer some assistance in improving the perception of the US legal system amongst the British population. Your comment that “This image of the US not being committed to a system of law is troubling…” is very accurate. Many British people find this perception troubling and it is one of the reasons why many British people are unhappy with the concept of extraditing their citizens to the USA. I believe that the underlying causes of this perception are as follows:-

1. President Bush asserts his Authority to disregard any law he sees fit, whenever and without any form of constraint or limitation by the US congress, the US senate or the US Supreme Court. Whilst this action alone does not per se insinuate that the US is not committed to a system of law, it does imply that the US in not committed to a system of law – which is written down in advance. The difference is subtle but many British people prefer their laws organised in this manner.

2. The US government has, when the President deems necessary, redefined its interpretation of international law. An example would be the internationally recognised definition of Torture and Cruel or Inhumane treatment. I personally feel that the Administration’s definition of Torture as the pain approaching, but not equal to that experienced during organ failure, is a very appropriate and accurate one. However, several billion people see it differently.

3. Guantanamo Bay is a reason often given by the British public as to why the UK government should not cooperate with President Bush. Personally I feel that locking Afghani goat herders up for years on end, without trial or access to lawyers or the outside world, hanging them from ceilings and part-drowning them, abusing their religion and locking them up in extreme temperatures is all perfectly legitimate. Sadly, many of my countrymen feel that this is not within the law, any law and so mark down your administration’s performance in this area.

4. Secret US gulags – you may have noticed that the practise of detaining persons in secret is not popular amongst Europeans. Your administration has been slow in justifying these detention centres and as a loyal supporter of President Bush, I would urge you to come forward and forcefully make the case for detaining unknown numbers of people in unknown locations, denying access by the Red Cross and applying interrogation techniques which do not comply with the Geneva Conventions. Once you make your case, I am sure that the majority of the British public will fall into line and support this program.

5. Extraordinary Rendition. The recent spate of kidnapping by the CIA within Europe has made many British voters uncomfortable with the USA’s position on Human Rights. When combined with the issue of Secret Gulags, the re-interpretation of Torture and the extradition of suspects to countries where prisoners routinely experience pain equal to or greater than that experienced during organ failure, the British fears that Human rights are being abused are heightened. However, these perceptions do not exist in a vacuum – it is important that the Administration gets out there and talks up the positives of these programs.

The solution is to get back to basics and focus on the core strengths of the US legal system and the Constitution. Albeit, some of these concepts may need to be updated, but it is possible to create a catchy phrase or two – how about:-

United States of America – we believe that “all men are created equal, except those of non-US citizenship, those who cannot afford health insurance or any others whom the President so decrees.”

Your final comment that “it is very important for the British people to understand that an extradition treaty like this is very much in their interests.” Is good, but needs some more work. For example, would it be possible to give some examples as to exactly how this treaty is in the British public’s interests? I’d suggest that the sales pitch could include:-

a) With only one phone call you too can fly economy to the US in the company of 20 friendly US Marshall tour guides.

b) Excellent exchange rates currently available – take advantage of the devalued US dollar in order to make your legal fees go that extra mile.

c) US federal penalties recently increased, giving you the consumer, the opportunity to maximise your potential stay in the USA.

d) US prison system – a bit less violent than Iraq!

e) US Federal Justice System – Proudly executing the mentally ill.


I hope that this helps and I wish you all the very best in improving the image of the US Justice system amongst the people of Britain.

Yours faithfully,

AJ Bladderwait.